What Would You Give Up to Be Married?

My husband gave up music.


Marriage (Photo credit: Lel4nd)

And a farm.

And living in the Pacific Northwest.

And living in a different country every two years.

And being on time.

I can’t listen to music in the background while carrying on a conversation without getting a headache.

A suburban girl, the idea of living in a county where there were more cows than people freaked me out.

With parents and in-laws on the East Coast that we visited every Christmas and our sons visited for a week or two every summer, I could not bear the thought of living across the country from them.

After a year in Argentina, twelve addresses in our first eight years of marriage and a childhood growing up in four states, not including the state where I went to college, when I’d never lived anywhere more than six years, I was ready to put down roots.

And, something about making sure children are ready first put me in the bad habit of being 15 minutes late most places I go, even though my children have been grown and gone for more than 10 years.

My husband joined our church choir so he could have music in his life.

We moved to a rural area of a suburban county near a large metropolitan area close enough to go to the city for dinner.

We continued to visit our parents until they died or came to live with us.

Two were in their 90s.

We lived in our second house for 24 years, the only house our younger son knew until he graduated from college.

My husband tried telling me early departure times to fool me, but you can’t live together and not know what each other’s schedules really are.

Now, he just waits to leave until I’m ready.

What would you give up to be married?

Thank you, and Happy Valentine’s Day, dear.


Carol Covin, Granny-Guru

Author, “Who Gets to Name Grandma? The Wisdom of Mothers and Grandmothers



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