Scanned page of Sears, Roebuck and Company cat...

Scanned page of Sears, Roebuck and Company catalog, 1918. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Does your Mom Forward You Articles?

It started when I was in college and continued until my Mom had a stroke at 83.

Every now and then, my Mom would send me an article from the newspaper that she thought I might find interesting.

I suppose if we were doing it in today’s world, she would have sent me an email, with a link to an article she thought I’d enjoy.

The purpose is the same.

I got the message she sent and the unspoken message it carried.

“I’m thinking about you. I thought this article was in line with what I’ve noticed you like. I love you.”

Did You Ever Make a Christmas List?

In my family, I only made a list of what I wanted for Christmas once.

One year, my Mom decided to ask us for a list of what we wanted for Christmas.

Always before, my parents had just noticed what we liked or picked out things they thought we’d like.

My younger brother and I eagerly paged through the Sears catalog like we had our noses pressed against a toy store window.

We handed Mom our four-page lists of random, glittery things that had caught our fancy in the catalog.

She never asked again.

The articles she sent were more like her gift-giving style.

She noticed. She expected us to notice each other, and that is what I thought gift giving meant.

And, Then You Get Married

I cried the first time my husband asked me what I wanted as a gift.

His question meant three things to me.

He was not going to rely on noticing.

I had to know myself well enough to tell him. This was probably the most difficult. I wasn’t used to being asked.

And, adults who love each other can be different from your family.

How Do You Say “I Love You”?

My mother never told me she loved me. She thought her actions, her support, her noticing said it for her.

Except once.

She sent me a two-page letter telling me how much she loved me and how proud of me she was.

I never mentioned receiving the letter to her. But, it sat in my dining room, where I could be warmed by its message every time I saw it, for ten years.

My husband laughed for the first five years of our marriage when my Mom sent packages to me addressed with my maiden name.

He said he knew my Mom had finally accepted him when she started sending him articles.

Thanks for caring, Mom.

To you and the memories you hold of your Mom.

 

Carol Covin, Granny-Guru

Author, “Who Gets to Name Grandma? The Wisdom of Mothers and Grandmothers

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http://newgrandmas.com

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